Zoosk Japan Dating: I Paid $30 to Chat with Bots (Review)

The Ghost Town of Dating Apps

I was desperate. Tinder wasn’t working. Bumble was too quiet. So, in a moment of weakness at 2 AM, I saw an ad for Zoosk.

“35 million members!” it screamed.

I thought, “Surely a few of them are real women in Tokyo.”

I pulled out my credit card. I paid for a subscription. I prepared my best selfies.

Spoiler Alert: I would have had better luck trying to date a vending machine.

Is Zoosk Popular in Japan? (No.)

Let’s be brutally honest. Nobody in Japan uses Zoosk.

If you ask a Japanese girl “Do you use Zoosk?”, she will probably think you are talking about a literal zoo. The user base is nonexistent here. It feels like walking into a party that ended three years ago.

The “Local” singles it promised me were mostly:

• Accounts inactive since 2018.
• People “visiting” Japan (virtually).
• Obvious scammers named “Keiko” using stock photos of models.

My $30 Mistake

I subscribed because Zoosk locks EVERYTHING behind a paywall. You can’t reply to messages. You can’t see who viewed you.

I paid. The moment I did, I got a message!

“Hi handsome, I am nurse. Click link.”

Great. A bot. I just paid the price of a decent izakaya dinner to talk to a script running on a server in a basement somewhere.

The Features (That Don’t Work Here)

Zoosk has this “Carousel” feature. It’s like Tinder swiping. I swiped right for an hour until my thumb cramped.

Matches? Zero.

Not because I’m hideous (I hope), but because the users simply aren’t there. The algorithm was showing me profiles from Osaka (I’m in Tokyo) or even worse, profiles that clearly hadn’t logged in since the Reiwa era began.

Better Alternatives

If you are a foreigner in Japan looking for love (or just fun), do not use Zoosk. Delete it. Burn your phone if you have to.

Use these instead:

• Pairs: If you speak Japanese and want a serious relationship.
• Bumble: Good for foreigners, women make the first move.
• Tinder: A chaotic hellscape, but at least there are people there.

Verdict

Pros:

• Easy to delete your account.

Cons:

• Empty user base in Japan.
• Full of bots.
• Expensive for nothing.

Save your money. Buy some strong zeros. Go to a HUB. Just don’t download Zoosk.

(And seriously, if you are tired of the dating app games and just want a sure thing without the bots, check out Tokyo Escort OTOME for a stress-free booking experience.)